So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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