stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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