Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
