so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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