no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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