Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
