those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
