Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
