We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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