Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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