i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Your penis caused this!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
