it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
