Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
