i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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