Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
