I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
