So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
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