i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
