Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Randomize
