Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
