WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
