so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
