I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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