my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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