as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
