i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
