remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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