you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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