i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I want to have your abortion
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
