So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
