Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
