how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
