I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
