how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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