This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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