is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
