no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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