Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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