dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
