just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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