can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
