You're my little dorito
she looked like the before picture.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
