i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
birth control should be required to get into college
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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