I feel like abortions should bother me more
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
