I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That's how pantless uber rides happen
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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