I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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