So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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