If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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