I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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