Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
