I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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