Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
