this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
