We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
